Saccharine side stepping!

Whew..I survived another one!...Valentine's day came and went without a peep...Being rather newly wed did nothing to upset my plans..or the lack thereof!

Valentine's eve saw me and Mosi standing in a line at a local gift store.A riot of red..an explosion greeted my tired eyes.( Important to note at this point might be that the oh-so-pleasant flu had come to visit that weekend.And I was at my best...sniffling,coughing and bleary eyed..ah romance!)I picked up an innocuous looking stuffed Husky dog, 'This doesn't look to revoltin--..."..The word caught in my itching throat,Gasp! A heart was attached to its white furry mouth.In no mood to appreciate a heart-wrenching ( literally) beast, we moved on!I fought through an amor'-inspired gaggle of girls..all excited,all gushing,all surreptiously grabbing the closest furry,red,heart-shaped thingamajig! No bother that a) it was three times the price b) it was useless c) it was red..and oh did I mention useless? I mean how many furry hearts can hang from a sane person's ceiling?Anyway beating through this crowd, I made it to the card section...Seriously Shilpa..you're going to buy a diabetic card for the husband? With his money? hmmm...no such thought should cross you mind,We of social networks,had a birthday party to go to.I picked the dryest,blandest card ..in yellow and blue ( Aha! My revolution against white and red!) .all it proclaimed was Happy Birthday...and thats it!Perfect, I proceeded to the check -out.Stood myself at the tail of a line from here to Timbuktu, Mosi in tow.As we crawled upto the cash register..our (my bleary) and Mosi's well trained eye fell on a tin that screamed- Valentine's Kamasutra gift S&M....hmm ! It was black and had required picture of Dominatrix looking woman in black! My helpful hubby offered..'The tin looks too small for a whip!...handcuffs perhap?'..Since the shop hadn't noticed us enough for the lack of Love-day cheer...this sure got their attention!

One battle down! We mowed our way through Friday evening traffic to get to the Birthday do!! We were met with large smiles,alcohol and cake...ahhh I can celebrate this! Too good to be true..'So what are you newly weds doing for Valentines ? '..a smile, an embarressed downward glance..."Oops meant to switch shoes!'Luckily my throat chose that moment to errupt in a fitful cough.Alarmed, our host smiled and waved to an imaginary guest....We extricated oursleves from that one..only barely!

The day dawned...rainy,gloomy and dark!We woke rather early...I was a mess.Sneezing continuously,coughing like the life was leaving me,eyes watering,nose dripping..I was a vision of romantic allure.No wonder that Mosi stood back..and gingerly helped me out of bed! I padded down the hall to the kitchen, popped my customary cough drop,and proceded to whip up a cake.Oooh..is that the mushy side we are about to expose? Fat chance, I was signed up to bake a cake for a get-together that night.A group of people here ,had organised Talent Night on Valentines.Perhaps to keep an eye on us ..the Mushy Mosis..Cake done,oven switched off and I sunk back into a codiene inspired slumber....mouth open...wheezing slightly..And that didn't encourage Valentines day plans?? Shocker that!

Later that evening, we hopped into our favourite grocery store.I bought 4 bars of chocolate...thats all.The girl behind the counter gave me a knowing smile,"Chocolate for Valentines day......!!! "...I put an end to trauma inducing images of me lolling in melted chocolate saying,"This is for a cake...for my girls night..!"....Tcchh..she looked at me appalled..
Then sashaying out the door..we ran into a good friend.He and some friends had some paintings up , all different visualisations of HIV-a world problem...So we spent the next half hour in a world of disease,sexual practices and death.All very romance inspiring for sure!

At a traffic signal on our way to Talent Night,I poked my head out the window at a guy selling roses on the road.What a day...wilting red roses cost three times the price , and they come wrapped in ghastly paper driping with hearts! Ahhh my blood sugar! Ill take a bunch..I muttered softly,lest anyone heard.Sinking lower in my seat, I ripped all the petals out into a bag right in front of his horrified eyes.He handed me my 1000 Kwacha note..and ran for his life.Once at the venue...I dumped the petals into a bowl..added a candle or two...Voila..Atmosphere!

The last of my rebellion came next."Why are you not wearing Red and White?"...piped up a friendly voice...I glanced down at my Khaki-green shirt...Hmm Jungle seduction perhaps?
Talent Night saw me take part in a dance too.A hip swinging,alluring Hawaiin dance , you ask hopefully ?..Little luck there..this was a folk tune..made only more entertaining by my valiant efforts to not sneeze on stage!

So now as I look back..I walked into nearly evert landmine Valentines day is known to bring...Chocolate,cake,flowers..dancing...cards...
Did I succumb?? No way!!!

This troop is still fighting.....and going strong!

Warriers' African Abode....

I'm back...after a hiatus...Thought I'd kick start this year with a literary masterpiece....I did..( I'm still reading it...!) Anyway after shaking off spying Mosi...I'm clicking away in peace!!!

Anwyay..so it has been an eventful week so far...We finally found a house.Of course , like everything else in good old Lusaka , seemingly routine things take an appallingly long time.The said house..is beautiful...with shiny black floor tiles...so shiny I can see my face in it...Good thing...?
So the story leading up to this house is certainly as entertaining as since the Warriers took up residence...

The earlier tenant..a bossy lady, was to move out of this house and we ( happy as a pie ) were to move in in November last year.What do you know..but bossy lady decides she doesn't want to go! She gets an injuntion saying she doesn't have to leave till December..What I wailed..I need a house pronto lady!Anyway...once the hammer sounded...heralding in a leaving date...there was a definite spring to my step..Me and Mosi stopped by the house for a viewing..and walk through.Bossy lady gave us one..in two minutes flat.She kept up a mournful spiel .."this is the kitchen ( duh...there's a cooker and refrigerator lady!! ) ..This is the study..this is the bath..( duh ??) and thats the front door.The only change of expression she allowed herself was when she remarked maliciously ,"oh yes..try asking the landlord...He never gets things done!"..Well did I mention that the lady hadn't paid rent in 6 months....Hmm and the landlord isn't helpful...gasp!!!
Ah me...my naivete was at its best that day...I looked at her garden and smiled at her adding,"You have a beautiful garden, such pretty flowers..." , she ( of Best hostess award fame ) spitefully shot back,"They're all mine, I'm taking them with me...don't think I'm leaving them behind"..So does that mean we aren't on the new year party invite list??

Anyway...so after this drama blew itself out..and carried bossy lady over the threshold with it..We moved in...you'd think that was the end of the drama, fat chance with me around!

Moving day dawned bright and clear...I was positively gushing about the space my new kitchen proffers...A step of salsa here...a swish of rhumba..and a delicate waltz there...Thus dancing around , I approached Mr Dishwasher Warrier and remarked all sunny, " So nice to have all this light shining through...so great to see the greeeee...."Of course that's an odd word...One of the kitchen cabinets had chosen that moment during my sunny speech to hurtle itself off its hinges and fling itself edge first on my toe..Arghh...I hopped around the kitchen trying to ease the pain....New dance move anyone?

So our first night in the new house....Mosi surprised me with a bottle of great wine...and two long stemmed wine glasses to go with.There we sat..all posh sipping on our Shiraz ( a great bottle Mosi!).The conversation got more passionate as the wine level dipped., when suddenly Crash!, our kitchen door slammed shut.As we bolted up from the chairs we were so lazily draped on, the house was plunged into sudden darkness...power out! We raced into the black kitchen,only to see the door partially open , and torrents of rain gushing into my spotless as a baby's butt kitchen...It was horrific..the water snaked through the kitchen into my hall...and settled into satisfied pools in the hall...growing fatter with every new gust of wind! Wailing in despair, only to be drowned out by the howling storm, I sank to my knees ( in prayer?..not!) mopping and wringing in quick, mechanical succession!..My thriftiness was out on full display...Not wanting to get all the wiping cloths dirty , I was frantically wiping and wringing the same little red cloth.Watching my arms moving at breakneck speed and only partially controlled by still fuming brain, my husband gently suggested I add another cloth to my artillery!

And the final straw ? ...well, this morning I was hanging up the curtains...Each window..I put up the solid curtains...then the sheers..and then stepped back to sigh..My number obsessed husband ,who only last night was adroitly balancing dinner in one hand while using the other to research DVD region unlocking codes, walked in.Immersed in a manual on camera lenses ( that shoot scary numbers like 2.5x,18-55 crvfx at you when you least expect them), looked up casually and said, "Mrs...They gypped you at the curtain place...those ones arent very good.They're letting light in..why are they so thin?", following that with a more urgent,Wait! Why are you banging your head on the wall?"......

The Warriers have arrived at Crossroads!

My very own sine wave!

So these are just your ordinary ,run-of-the-mill happenings..! Since I'm not into the habit of reading into things.....here goes....

Incident....New,treating -me -like -a queen husband says," Get yourself anything you want from me, for your birthday!" ( Of course in my too many X chromosomes containing head, Read : Pink Silk clutch)
Anyway...Upside...He gives me the freedom to commit daylight robbery on his credit card
Downside..Well when I share my giddy excitement with him..He helpfully offers, " Clutch...we don't have a manual transmission car!" Wait why are you banging your head on the table???

Next incident...Said car obsession competes with technology obsession..
Upside..Well I never have to worry my head with computer related angst again...Bits,bytes...RAM....Go roam!
Downside...Never having help when I'm juggling two hot dishes, and no hot mat to set anything down...Hmm perhaps I must sprout more hands, reminiscent of all Goddesses...to think that my mom complains I am not religious!

And another...So one of the big reasons I got married.Mosi..gives me total freedom,likes me as I am..and doesn't care where I've been!
Upside...the obvious..I can continue being as loud and bossy as I was..and probably always wil.Have conjured mental image of wheelchair bound me , yelling at some teenaged kid for not letting me past!And...I can still run off chasing exotic viruses..worrying only about competitive enthusiasm levels.
Downside.( you mean there is one?) well..shoot me for this..But..It irks me sometimes,for the smallest of seconds that he isn't very possessive.Must therefore conclude that he is not afraid of loosing hag-like ( loud and boisterous to boot) wife to anyone..Hmm that only depresses me further!

So...by way of compliment he tells me...Thank god you aren't a proper girl!!!! Hmpphh..I can be too!!!
Upside well...I think he means that as, You enjoy swearing and abusing our cricket team when they make a mess...You pay even less attention to what you're wearing than I do...Hmm..and these were the upsides eh....
Downsides..well I am a girl!!! Have an inactivated X chromosome to prove it!!! I'm not sure if being called a boy is totally complimentary.Clothes that don't make even a feeble attempt to the wash basket,shirts worn inside out,fruits charade-ing as a meal and inability to do more than one ( generally computer -oriented) thing....Hmmm...

And he obsessively loves dogs...More than people perhaps!!....

So???....I'm the same way!!!...Downside...No way!

Switching Dwarf Identities!

So yesterday I switched dwarf identities.Not only to mean that I traded in my brown two-tone tunic with a yellow cap for a yellow brown tunic.Of course I'm skipping over the long beard and white hair at this point..Shhhh.Naah..I came down with a nasty cold! So having said..I went from lovable rotund Happy to trying-to-stifle-a sneeze Sneezy ( albeit sadly, still rotund!)

Of course ,come morning,I felt like a ton of bricks had landed on my still peacefully prostrate form.And that the energy had been sucked straight out of my sneezing self.Well , what to do? But go back to sleep...having said,I waved a Grumpy bye to Dr.Mosi( tunic hence changed to red)..and flopped over and went back to sleep.Sore throat and aching eyes were soon to follow.Lest I was missing their august presence.I snored a tune ...literally sang myself to sleep.

Later that morning...said Mosi smsed me to see how I was doing...I felt a twinge of annoyance.How come he gets to be outdoors...enjoying the dust-laden air, and the scorching sun ? While I'm stuck at home...wrapped in a paisley sheet? How do dogs do it? How do they manage to look so happy when their pets ( read for us ,of exalted ego..Masters ! ) come home.I bet sleeping on the couch doesn't compare to rushing headfirst down a rabbit hole?

Anyway...as I am sure everyone is relieved to know,I am back on my feet...Back to blogging..back to appearing normal...Hmm all manner of blurry eyes,croaking throat and bulbous nose forgotten! Quite a tiring day....Switching three identities in one day...at this I pause ,visions of grandiose as I imagine myself as greatest spy/secret agent ever!Anyway...fertile imagination sated for the day...I log off...Back to being Happy,in a land far far away....and for a long long time!!!