Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Grad School lessons..

The last few months have been a blur.....
A daze of frenetic activity. A lot of movement...but not really going anywhere.

Not surprisingly, it took something not going my way to slow me down, and make me think. To look around, take a deep breath and exist.
If there is something I know I have learnt in Graduate School it is more about who I am. The PhD was intended to turn me into an encyclopedia about my favourite virus and to learn the scientific method. Along the way, I've been surprised to find that many Grad school situations have instead taught me about myself.
I've learnt that it is okay to be scared, to admit to being scared and to seek help. I have had an opportunity to more intimately explore my many insecurities and to accept many of them. I have learnt more about the person I am, more importantly I have figured out what I am not.
This has perhaps been the most sobering lesson. I have learnt my limits  and my limitations. By being pushed too far, I have finally figured out how much I can handle. And by failing, I have realized the circumstances under which I can succeed.
Most recently, I have learnt how much or little I can handle at a given time. Accepting that I am not the best at many things, and that that is who I am too. Most importantly, I have learnt that it is okay for me to accept I cannot do as much as my closest colleague.
Many friends, colleagues and family members have patiently watched me stumble through Grad school.  They have gone against their instinct and let me learn my lessons on my own, my way and at my time - for this I am grateful.
I know that I may stray from these lessons occasionally, but hopefully the fact that I learnt them all through experience will help me re-learn them more quickly. In the meanwhile, I can always strive to do better.....

Saturday, November 15, 2014

A Haiku in lieu of a paper?

You daunting blank page,
No word, no inspiration,
Only a cold white space.

And never before,
The din of so much silence,
How to break this spell?

Sat me in a chair,
Sixty minutes, forced typing,
No stops, no re-do.

Voila! I see words,
And no longer a blank page,
Now to stay focused...