Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Unanswered Questions..

So many people tell me that daddy hasn't really gone anywhere..he is with me.. and will be always.If you're here daddy, here are some things I have been wondering....

Where are you now daddy?

Why did you leave me without saying Good Bye ?

Is there any pain now daddy?

I can't believe he is gone..I can't believe that my life with him is over..I can't believe I am no one's 'princess' no one to call me ' noisy girl'....I miss you daddy.....

Do you think I should really get my PhD daddy?

Is there 'special dahi sev puri' where you are? Have you told them you like it 'theekha' ...?

Who do you walk with now daddy?

So many unfinished ideas....so many dreams...shattered...the pieces surround me

Your spectacles are still here...can you see clearly daddy?

Do you get su-doku puzzles where you are?

Do you still snore at night daddy ?

So many unfinished conversations...so many 'I love yous' left unsaid....so many minutes more I wish we had...

How do I go on from here daddy ?

Do you still remember me ?

Is it ok to continue living without you ?

Can I come join you daddy ?


Today I started to clear daddy's closet...

Each shirt with its whimsical splash of color takes me back in time.To a different place.
The white shirt he wore to my high school play..Sunshine checks for a summery morning...Grey t-shirt for a trip to Yoga class.

A well worn night dress...one mismatched button.A purple shirt from this time last year...to see the man I meant to marry...A regal kurta from the evening of my engagement..

Where did those days go Daddy?

Today..they are just colored pieces of yarn...