Sunday, October 21, 2007

Just the one glass slipper....

Born to clan,
Of social beings;
I stand alone,
I cry alone.

All around, a chattering crowd-
Of evolved folk,
The highest level,
Of cognitive thought.

An outsider to this party,
In my mind;
Unending hypocrisy,
Life's exequies.

On this busy street,
Walking in step,
With the thronging sea;
I hum my own tune.

On winding path,
My footsteps play out a melody,
A solo act ; with no need
Of accompanying symphony.

I look back,
And in the sand,
One pair of footsteps

Shilpa Iyer

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Two worlds .....9 1/2 hours apart!!!

So I have been here two months now.....and someone the other day mentioned that it was surprising that I hadn't written anything about this major shift of goes....
What is it that I think is different about this place...??
Its the basics....How we can sign the lease and move in the same day...that we can tranfer the utilities and pay our bill in our name later that month.Its how buses arrive on time...and offices open when they say they will.Its how science is done....with a logic that has stood the test of time...yet with an eagerness to embrace the new! All these things make this country a success and I will give credit where it is due.
But what else is different?
Life is lived here..and people are human, here too.
People still care about others..I agree they wish each other Good morning quite a few orders more than back home....they say thank you alot...and if the politeness is genuine its nice! People work hard here...they party hard on weekends..oh yes that is something I like..the fact that we enjoy two day weekends here! Maybe the one thing that can be said about people here is that they are more open here....but that could be just lesser social pressure.And I havent been here long enough to judge that.There is nothing wrong me thinks in the social norms that exist back home...and while morals and values are something we treasure.....hypocrisy is something we nurture..And that goes for human beings anywhere
Are people more selfish ...well...I have always had this debate on selfishness...Why is it selfless to serve others but selfish to help yourself? Why is it that looking out for yourself has a negative connotation to it? Or are we all expected to wait for the next selfless person to take care of us, while we ourselves engage in the service of someone else.( read lazy people all!! ) I think the time has come to re define some of these terms...Selfless could indeed mean helping others with no personal motivation behind the act.Selfish could mean that one takes care of oneself at the cost of others..Self helping...that should be the one where we look out for meeee!! Am I self helping..well yes!
Anyway so this entire monologue has this point to it.....that people are a particular way..and while that does depend on the culture they are brought up in...I think for the most part, people just are !!!
I have a bone to pick with this however.......what makes people materialistic? What makes them so shallow? What makes it seem like so many years of evolution have gone in vain.....
Is there a way that culture and our burgeoning intelligence can co exist? .........
One wonders....and one must for the ability to ponder is that which sets us apart!!! More on this space! my space.....

When you bleed just to know you are alive......

Sometimes I feel like I am dead..dead on the inside..
Like I cant feel a thing, and it doesn't matter
Like I cant feel a thing, and I really want to
Pain like gashes come raining down
But my soul sleeps, far away in a corner.

Is this something that happens to all of us? The more life we see, a little bit of us we lose each day. I know that I have seen alot...but is that reason to be marching towards emotional driftwood status!
Yesterday I was angry ....I was hurt..and I think what upset me most is the fact that I was feeling hurt at all.I don't like being vulnerable , or realising that things outside my power have the ability to affect me.Someone mentioned that being fragile to pain is only proof that you are human.....maybe that wise someone should take a bow here...coz that statement prompted me to write this.
Sometimes when I feel like I cant feel anything comes as a relief to feel pain , to simmer in anger.That proves that I can feel......I can bleed..I am alive.
Its so scary though...what if things in your life change you forever.Change you so that you cannot ever be the same.I used to care so much...I used to be so emotional...what happened to me? There are times...when I can feel the conflict of my current stoic self...and the fragile figure of ago....what does this mean..that the humanness is still there..and that it is fighting to get out? Or is this a new self that I must reconcile myself to.
What if I'll never feel again?What if my life will pass me by and I wont shed a tear? This is my fear, that tomorrow the earth will shake under my feet...and I wont lose sleep.....that tomorrow someone dear will pass me by and the memories will overtake my emotion.....
Perhaps this is idle worry....maybe this is part of the big word we call growing up! Maybe for some this may be a cause for worry.....for is my proof that I can feel!