Lyricist required...Anu Malik is on the loose!!!

So , as we were driving back from lunch..I peered out of the window, " Dekho barish ho rahi hai'...for non-hindi speakers..no worries , Anu Malik was kind enough to translate,"It's raining,It's raning,It's rain..ing!"...And then ..My heart did in fact start paining...It's that time of the week again..the days when Anu Malik ,smug as a pumpkin,sits himself in the chair marked 'judge' ( not discard mind!) and spouts arrogant nonsense to talented youngsters! He uses words like "riyaaz","Antara"and "mukhada"..the three hindi words he has learnt..or Javed Akhtar coached him into using!
So why has no contestant told him that obviously his advice is a joke? How does he keep a straight face when he tells a contestant,"the bar has been raised"..perhaps we must take it that he has slipped through;under it ? If I was on the show...I would have sung a song by the great Anu-ji ,if only to watch Javed saab's face crunch in pain.Ahh the murder of Hindi is so brutal!Not to mention the '2 -for -the-price-of-one' jarring of ear drums! Dhol baje anyone? Of course we needn't quake with fear each time he threatens to 'direct' music for a film.Most often, the music is hummable and non-Anu-ish! ....because it isnt ...!
The dark,rain cloud filled sky makes the trees look so dramatic.The colours look wonderfully intense..Speaking of colours...ahh memories of Holi back home! And of course Malik ji's utterly fogettable ( but insanely entertaining) ..."Do me a favour..let's play Holi", ..do me a favour...let's not!! Rainy days..and hot chai.Such synonyms.Until the happy association was ruined by another off key song..."Ek garam chai ki pyaali ho"...the tea turned cold and the flies grew old..Are you serious Anu Malik?
So the mobile phone craze has hit young India..from my Sabziwala to pensive Dhirubhai..everyone sported one!Must technology be an excuse for this torture..." What is mobile number ?"....how many girls gave you their numbers Anu?You mean they weren't woo-ed by the oh-so-romantic,"Shut up, Aa Nachle?"..I for one am shocked! But I guess if "Aila re,Ladki mast" didn't do it.Hmph picky girls these days!
So of course the rains bring illness with them.Our lyrical genius, has a panacea.Turn it into an awful song..."She gives me fever"...not Ebola Anu?Meanwhile as Indian Idol ( with bar raised!) races towards a nail biting finale..Anu Malik seems not to care about who the next Idol will be ( gasp!..I mean our lives depend on it.Who will sing me out of electricity,phone and water troubles?Oh wait this isn't a post about all that!)I think he is happy that he is famous..( enough so to have his picture punched on a punching bag...)..he seems to hum..After all," Mein Mila...tu Mili"!!!
Enough of this inane ranting!We demand lyrics! We insist on good singing!Why should we be subjected to a new generation of torturous singers,because the only people they found to judge the show are a wannabe singer,a model-turned -actress( but of course) who faces accent slippage and confusion therefore and a yesteryear beauty known for her legs..Don't mind!We still watch it though...reminiscent of McGonagall's wait on a wall for a new Saviour!..Of course...I'm still allowed to diss 'Anu crap-ik or perhaps Dunno Malik'...After all..."Kya Kool hain hum" !!!

Another day in Paradise..

Having lived here for a little over three months..hardly makes me an expert on Lusaka.But..I do have a lot of time on my hands..since Immigration refuses to give me a work permit..and obviously hires snails as go betweens in all their offices.Perhaps this is a good strategy..I threaten to continue writing till my permit is sanctioned....Man behind counter number 11..are you listening...Maybe I should sing too..??

( Sing to tune of Another day in Paradise, Phil Collins )

She calls out to the man at the bench
Sir can you help me?
I've been waiting all day for my lunch
Is there someone who can serve me?

He walks on , doesn't look back
Pretends he cant hear too,
Smiles and talks to the girl at the bar
Forgets to bring back a menu

Oh think twice, its another day for
You and me in Paradise
oh think twice, its just another day for you
You and me in Paradise.

She calls out to the man on the phone
He thinks she's been crying
The line starts to crackle and die down
She can't hear,but she's trying.

Oh think twice.....

Oh Sata,is there nothing more anybody can do,
Oh Banda there must be something you can say

You can tell from the look on his face
You can see you'll be back again
Probably didn't fit any of the tires right
oh you know its a trip again.

Oh think twice....

Our Neverending journey!!! chapter 1

One of our friends here, booked us into the Protea Safari Lodge as a wedding gift.Perhaps it was to safeguard Lusaka's precious decibel limit.I have mentioned that I can be a tad loud right? Anyway..the lodge is about 35 kms outside of Lusaka, and is at a place called Chisamba.( A name with a surprisingly high vowel/consonant ratio, FYI we live on Bwinjimfumu road...!)The drive was in itself uneventful,peppered with some off-key singing and constant chatter( who me?)The real excitement came in the last 4 kms of if -I-must-be-forced-into-calling-it-that ,road .Mosi announced that my initiation into the Have car,will drive syndrome was long overdue...So drive I did..and said Mosi was struck with a sudden case of heart in mouth syndrome.We arrived in one piece and were shown to our very own chalet...


I set about unpacking a little bit, whistling a rusty tune.Perhaps my singing isn't that bad..we soon had a visitor.....maybe he came over to say,"Lady,will you pipe down!!".He was a greater Kudu..and peacefully walking around on the lodge premises.Most of the animals seen at the Lodge have been rescued and rehabilitated..and this particular one had a cute,quizzical expression!
Protea lodge offers drive through safaris....where people cram into a noisy van,race around the trail,issuing massive amounts of smoke,kicking up country-sized dust clouds.Loud ,excited chattering doesn't help their cause either.And then they grumble they 'didn't see anything!'Hmm go figure.Well...we were too smart for them.( and of course having learnt from many trips of empty camera rolls and vapourized enthusiasm) Me and Mosi set off on foot.We saw some lovely birds along the way.Such intense colours , such a contrast to the brown ,waving grass.



I am not very good with birds...but perhaps someone who is can identify them?
We walked all along the trail...happily drinking in the peace..and the feeling of being alone!...When...all of a sudden..have you ever had the feeling like a hundred pairs of eyes are on you? Straight ahead..a herd of Zebra and of horned -antelope-like animal.All eyes were trained on us..and they sized up the trespassers.

We stood deathly still..to avoid alarming them.For half a second I was scared.Those horns looked mean.And I was faced with a feeling that I have had before, that without arms or weapons..Human beings really are vulnerable and so weak.It's a humbling thought.Finally the herd grew bored..and cantered off.Our first brush with wildlife.
Walking still further along the trail we came across two Mahuts( elephant trainers) and their elephant.She lived on the Lodge premises too..and was out for her daily dose of fresh air.Now...cute as they seem..the idea of getting close to an African elephant raised my heartbeat..almost to levels that my aerobics instructor would be proud of.She rose effortlessly with me sitting on her.It was quite thrilling to be up that high..and looking down on fairly tall people ! We waved good bye to the two guys and their gorgeous elephant....Wow..that was some experience!!!
The trail curled around a Lion enclosure...It was almost mid-day.The famous African sun was doing its best to zap any signs of water straight into the sky.We came across a well fed, lazy lioness.I was inspired to tell a joke....I have a feeling the lioness didn't think it was funny !


We mosi-ed along..and came across a traditional hut..How lucky we were!...we had a chance to meet the last two Zambian tribal lords on Protea's turf...



How regal...how proud..how familiar?

That evening we strolled along the lodge premises...There is a shimmering lake framed by long ,tall blades of grass.The marsh is often visited by inquisitive birds and dazzling dragonflies.The one downside of having a camera obsessed co-traveler...is that you are often bulldozed into posing for pictures...Luckily though..this one wasn't a close up!!

Our trip ended the next morning ..after a scrumptious brunch.I even ended up sampling crocodile tails...my opinion ..I like them on crocs better!Happily fed and watered...we set off..sad to be leaving...And Mosi sadder still , that I was driving back, the same 4 kms!!

P.S. Photo courtesy...of course Dr.Mosi..renowned as much for wonderful photos as for his blog..

My very own sine wave!

So these are just your ordinary ,run-of-the-mill happenings..! Since I'm not into the habit of reading into things.....here goes....

Incident....New,treating -me -like -a queen husband says," Get yourself anything you want from me, for your birthday!" ( Of course in my too many X chromosomes containing head, Read : Pink Silk clutch)
Anyway...Upside...He gives me the freedom to commit daylight robbery on his credit card
Downside..Well when I share my giddy excitement with him..He helpfully offers, " Clutch...we don't have a manual transmission car!" Wait why are you banging your head on the table???

Next incident...Said car obsession competes with technology obsession..
Upside..Well I never have to worry my head with computer related angst again...Bits,bytes...RAM....Go roam!
Downside...Never having help when I'm juggling two hot dishes, and no hot mat to set anything down...Hmm perhaps I must sprout more hands, reminiscent of all Goddesses...to think that my mom complains I am not religious!

And another...So one of the big reasons I got married.Mosi..gives me total freedom,likes me as I am..and doesn't care where I've been!
Upside...the obvious..I can continue being as loud and bossy as I was..and probably always wil.Have conjured mental image of wheelchair bound me , yelling at some teenaged kid for not letting me past!And...I can still run off chasing exotic viruses..worrying only about competitive enthusiasm levels.
Downside.( you mean there is one?) well..shoot me for this..But..It irks me sometimes,for the smallest of seconds that he isn't very possessive.Must therefore conclude that he is not afraid of loosing hag-like ( loud and boisterous to boot) wife to anyone..Hmm that only depresses me further!

So...by way of compliment he tells me...Thank god you aren't a proper girl!!!! Hmpphh..I can be too!!!
Upside well...I think he means that as, You enjoy swearing and abusing our cricket team when they make a mess...You pay even less attention to what you're wearing than I do...Hmm..and these were the upsides eh....
Downsides..well I am a girl!!! Have an inactivated X chromosome to prove it!!! I'm not sure if being called a boy is totally complimentary.Clothes that don't make even a feeble attempt to the wash basket,shirts worn inside out,fruits charade-ing as a meal and inability to do more than one ( generally computer -oriented) thing....Hmmm...

And he obsessively loves dogs...More than people perhaps!!....

So???....I'm the same way!!!...Downside...No way!

If Orhan Pamuk wrote Harry Potter

I will be called ,"He who must not be named"
I am extraordinary.I am aware of it.By the grace of our Exalted Wizard , I have been born to strike terror.I will live on ,immortal,in service to our great Wizard.The Headmaster,really an ordinary sort,has no inkling of the power these 4 walls contain.He looked at me the other day,"Boy,why has your potion turned red,I specifically said pink"."Red is the colour of those who bow to our Exalted Wizard,pink is for girls,"I said,"My name is Red!"I knew the time had come.The traitors to our Lord must be Killed.They do not share our vision of the Book.They do not bow to his greatness as the source of all marvel in this world.I must leave at night, and kill them all.

I will be called ,'The one who survived'
There was a 'thud!' at the door, and an ugly,tall man walked in.He waved a long stick at my father, and poor daddy fell unconcious.I remember some pretty green smoke though.I have been told that green is the colour of my people.I belong to the group that does not accept the Insulted Wizard or something like that.Its all very exciting.Mommy picked me up and tried to run away.But the ugly man caught up to us.He told my mom that since we do not bow to his Ruler, we must die.Yes,me too!..And then he waved hs stick and mommy fell too.I felt the same.

I am called Nothing
Why didn't he die? What has become of me ? I have no mortal body.None to ply in service of the great Wizard .No hands to offer , to paint in his glorious book, to gild or to write.This is a fate worse than death.

I am a cat.
I have been sitting on this wall for an hour now.There is news that we have a new saviour.I must check if it is true.There is a rumour that he will be brought to the house that is within this wall.What an odd house."I want more food",thats the fat boy who lives here,"Yes pumpkin",thats his over-indulgent mom, and there is a grouchy rotund father as well.Surely the saviour can't live here.Not when the Exalted Wizard lives in his palace.Surely our lot deserves more.

I am called Black.
I am the saviour's godfather.I believe in him.As I was talking with the Headmaster of Hogwarts , School of Witchcraft and Miniatury,Prof Dumbledore,he said,"keep your eye on him Black,he is in grave danger.They know that we no longer support the Book.But that we will commision him to make us another.With the training that he will receive here, he will be the best miniaturist in all the realms of the Wizard's fiefdom.He will paint as though the colours flow through his very veins.Each tree he depicts will talk to the viewer.Almost like that one,the Whomping willow.His animals will be so lifelike that they will appear to be like humans.Sometimes even transfigured.He will save us, and this Red, or Nothing as he is called now, shall never know!"Having said,Dumbledore retired into his inner chamber.I , Black wandered in search of pigments.

I will be called a Murderer
What a swagger that man,Black has!How arrogant he appears ,all because he is Godfather to some silly boy.No one will ever be able to match my power,my immortality.They must bow to me, as a true messenger from our Exalted Sultan.How easy it would be to slit his throat right here.Perhaps I will...Or maybe I will use something more in keeping with my skills..A flash of green light....

I am a corpse.
I knew my end had come, even before the green light grazed me.I could feel myself fall to the floor..Looking up,I saw the vile face of my murderer.I saw him turn and leave, his black coat billowing behind him.His wand slipped out of his pocket.It came to rest,ironically on the spot that just earlier it's issued green light hit me.I have no regrets,my only worry is my Godson.There will be no one to guide him on our quest of the Book.If only I could tell him what it means to our people.This book will contain the greatest of all spells,potions and incantations.I shut my eyes,I die.

I am a Wand
I know all the signs of a great Wizard.It is said in our books,that Our Lord gave us eyes to see the world as he intended it.I,however ensure that a Wizard can make out of the world that which he choses.The wizard does not chose me, I chose the wizard.And in doing so,make him who he is.Currently I rest on Black's noble chest. I know the murderer, I felt his hand on me. Who's this... I get picked up from Black's chest.

I am the Minister
I see Black laying dead with his wand by his side. There is a second wand on his chest. I pick it up. It could be that of the murderer. I will find out whose wand it is by giving it to Ollivander the wand maker. I wonder whose wand it is. I hope it is not that of one of my underlings, none over whose magic I govern, it will be a sad day for me... I mean... us.

I am an assistant
My supreme lord the exalted Ollivander has left in search of holly wood for his newest wand creation. he thinks that even squibs will be able to have magic with a wand made from Holly wood. I think if such a thing is possible, it will only be by trickery. Anyway, I much prefer Bolly wood for my wands. Ah, it's the Minister, gracing our shop, with his muddy shoes. What an honour. The Minister barked, "Boy, hurry up, call Ollivander. I have business of the highest importance with him." I said, "But, your grace, Mr Ollivander has gone over the oceans to find Holly wood." The Minister went red and shouted, " But I need him now. How dare he not be here? These dreams of Holly wood will never work. He will be corrupted by American ideals. I hear muggles make wands out of plastic and dress up like us... worse yet they get rewarded with candy. How can a place like that have any use for the Minister's... I mean the exalted Wizard's wand maker? Anyway, boy, you seem to know what you are doing. Take this wand. Find its owner. I will be back tomorrow for the answer. Do not fail me... and do not make wands in the new style. Remember, oak birch and phoenix feathers like the expert wand makers. I cannot believe this holly corruption has reached our Ollivander." I took the wand and bowed for the pearls of wisdom from our exalted Minister.

I am wandless
Killing of the traitor has proved even more troublesome.My faithful wand must have fallen in the duel.Our Exalted Wizard,praise be to him,will be sp thrilled with our new Book.Every dark spell, every torture technique....All those potions famililar more by smell than sight.I have been raised in their shadows.Ahh....Panchi...Where is my faithful butterfly? Come my precious..are you hungry....?

I am the Minister
I hurried back into the Wandmaker's store.The adolescent boy hurried to the store front."So, who does it belong to lad?",I said impaitently.He blinked...swallowed nervously,He offered,"My Lord,Ollivander ,bless him,has taught me only thus far...",he said his name ,defernetially , almost shyly.Is there something going on between Olivander and this youth.No doubt he is slender and has beutiful,sinewy arms."Anyway, what can you tell me then?,I demanded ,irked."My grace, the wand is made of Birch wood and Phoenix core.The phoenix who gave this feather,gave only one other.That other feather resides in the wand of the boy who survived,Harry Potter".My eyes widended...I turned on my heels."Curious, here is my best chance to defame Harry.If he can't find out the owner,I must have him taken away.He is rapidly progressing towards fame,some
say he will be Minister!I can't allow it..our Exalted Wizard must only turn to me!! "

I,Ginny
His gorgeous black scar into me.Silly boy,telling me about Gilding when all I want are his arms around me.I can feel Draco's lustful stare ,sear into my back.How nice to be sought after by both.Orhan and Shevket,dart in front of me.Odd how they get along...one a snowy owl,the other a horned toad.Ah..I haven't had a letter from Draco in a while..where is that Parvati..she is getting to be a nuisance!"So Ginny, you see,Gilding is a gift.Only those who truly believe can gild,can paint,can..."His sentence was ended by the Minister,who eyes blazing yanked him by the collar of his cloak.

I am Harry
Neck still smarting,I was marched off by the fudgy hands of the Minister.He really must wash his hands after a snack."My boy,you owe the Ministry a favour from your last outing with the Gaping Gargoyle.You must find the owner of this wand.In three days...Or I might be forced to consider that it is yours.You and Professor Snape will spend your time in the Room of Requisition.Hopefully,you will find all you need",he smirked.Off I was marched...

I am the Exalted Wizard
I deign my permission upon you magical folk,Go onward into the Room, and declare to us the owner of this wand.And committer of crime.Our world needs a hero!

I am Severus Snape
Me and this annoying boy were sealed into the Room.We both shut our eyes and thought of a way to solve this conundrum.The room magically transformed into Hogwarts grounds.It looked just like an oft seen scene in my mind.The one where Lily gazes at James'untidy hair and fall in love with him.Ah Lily...But I musn't waver from my task.From my dedication to our Exalted Wizard.I must prove that I have only him in my thoughts..and have given up my life to his service.I must go dumb..never utter another word.Silence...

I am Harry
Stupid Snape sank to his knees and kissed the ground.And settled into a peaceful penance.What use is he? What shall I do now? Where is the Answer?

I am,He who must not be named.
I burst into the Room.The only place that could help me find my wand.What's this..my slit like eyes pick up a figure.My serpentine nostrils smell his banality.Its the boy!Accio...and my wand flew into its rightful place."Ahh,he gasped, so you own this wand".Yes you oaf,now prepare to die!Avada Kedavra.."Expeilliarmus" echoed at the same instant.Our wands connected...by their shared cores.

I am the Phoenix feather.

I shoot out my spell...aimed at that..wait its my Brother.Here I am disarming him, when I really want to embrace his core.I was second born...I am stronger.I force him to my side..Come to me brother.rest,it's over.You are home.

I will be the one who does not get Detention
I saw the beads of light move towards his wand.My wand was winning!His quivered, and regurtitated his last spell...the killing of my Godfather.I saw his form,smoky yet handsome appear..And with renewed anger I conquered the Nameless Snake.

I,Ginny
The hunt is over.There are two things that I have secretly hoped for all this time.
1.That I marry Harry.
2.That we commission a painting of my patronus to grace the cover of the Book.

In the hope that this story be told,I sat down with my maid,J.K.Rowling..perhaps she will reveal our glorious past.Don't be taken in if Harry is more untidy than he is,Draco more smooth,or Shevket more warted.There is never a lie she would deign to tell, to make a tale more enchanting. But who's this she is writing to..Who is Orhan Pamuk?

The Parody makers-

Shilpa and Mosilager

Thenext in the series ,continuing a brilliant start by said Mosi .

De-mystifying K-serials!

It was another Friday night.Dinner was piping hot, and issuing steam right into my peaceful face.With a lazy flick...one crazy screen replaced the other.And the master of the remote control, came to rest on a popular Indian channel.My eyes fluttered over to the TV..and "Oh! Horror!" , what must they behold, but a K-serial...shudder!!!!!

It was your run-of-the-mill scene..Over - dressed lady number one skulks in a corner,under the stairs.She regards the room with her mascara-ed eyes.Her' suited and booted' brother smiles , an almost painful grimace.Mirroring this; is his soon-to-be fiance,standing by him and matching his make-up cracking grin!You can't take your eyes off her, not because of her breath-taking beauty,but because your eyes are stuck.The shining glint of every diamond( Blood or otherwise) have shocked your eyes into staying put!Arrives Villain one...Marrying man's mother.The rest of the generous stage is shared by the girl's family.Eyes darting furtively around the hall.What are they looking for you wonder? ....Aha...this is the twist you were waiting for..The family has another little girl.Very scientifically, they explain how she is mentally challenged, and has not grown beyond the age of 10.Well...who has if they still watch this stuff? Anyway cut to scene at hand...

Girl's family is worried that the mentally 10 year old will mar the happy announcement of the engagement, and tell her to stay outside the hall.Meanwhile, the boy's rotund and 'sparkly' mom smiles,and announces to the gathering of rather bored looking folk...that her son is to be engaged to this girl( pauses for applause and demure,downward tilt of prior mentioned mascara!), and that the wedding is to be in three days! "Gasp", goes the girl's family, "We are not prepared!"."Is there a problem?",asks mommy dearest , with a fake eye-flutter, ( seriously aunty, being cutesy at your age??)...Finally a conversation ensues...and the wedding will be in three days...Shouldn't everyone concerned race home to prepare??? Anyway in the meanwhile,over-dressed to the gills,sis of groom to be laughs a menacing laugh.Muhahahaha....She slips out ,un-noticed( except by me!) and finds the 10 year old.She convinces her that the group inside is waiting with bated breath for her arrival.Convinced,said ten year old races in,arms flailing and all...pushes over the waiter,breaks all the China ( more even than China ever had!) and sets fire to Mommy's pallu.Oh horror! Hmph...now the wedding is being called off....
Sound like utter nonsense? I thought about it...in fact..how supremely intelligent..how wonderfully subtle..if only this was a scene from a Spy thriller...

Girl under the stairs is part of Revenge camp.She has been skulking around setting bugs in the room.She checks in with her boss,"This is too-much-kohl,area bugged.Subjects are on stage,Over"Suit clad guy is on her team, he is a pawn in the mission, only he doesn't know it!..Demure damsel on his arm ,is here representing the arms dealing camp! Mommy is on damsel's team!..In the audience is the arms dealer they are courting.She announces in code..we need the weapons in three days!..Damsel looks down, and flutters eyelids once..her code, we will go upto one Million!..Meanwhile the others on the stage, are from a competitive weapon camp.We can't be ready that soon..maybe in a few more days...preparations and all that!!!.Ahem...Meanwhile evil, too-much-kohl decides to sniff out the area for the Look-out.The little girl , although acting mentally ten, keeps a keen eye out for danger.She is wired , and each seemingly silly song ,conveys a world of meaning."The deal is being worked out!I think they are agreeing to one Million...three days..!"With a delicate maneuver , too-much-kohl pushes a gun into Lookout's back and marches in.Smart little girl, in desperate attempt to save her mission,runs amok,pushes the team's contact,breaks the bug-laden china, and sends up alarm smoke-signals to Mommy.Danger noted,she in turn,abruptly calls off deal,warning the arms camps that a spy is in their midst!
And even the make-up serves a devious purpose...not a soul knows how the people look beneath it.Plastic surgery on the sets!

See there....wasn't that just griping.So the next time you pooh-pooh a K serial, think again...such clever deception,such trickery.....Surely the stuff that inspires Scorcese !!!

Maybe the author of the Phiri Deception has a K-serial to thank too??

Switching Dwarf Identities!

So yesterday I switched dwarf identities.Not only to mean that I traded in my brown two-tone tunic with a yellow cap for a yellow brown tunic.Of course I'm skipping over the long beard and white hair at this point..Shhhh.Naah..I came down with a nasty cold! So having said..I went from lovable rotund Happy to trying-to-stifle-a sneeze Sneezy ( albeit sadly, still rotund!)

Of course ,come morning,I felt like a ton of bricks had landed on my still peacefully prostrate form.And that the energy had been sucked straight out of my sneezing self.Well , what to do? But go back to sleep...having said,I waved a Grumpy bye to Dr.Mosi( tunic hence changed to red)..and flopped over and went back to sleep.Sore throat and aching eyes were soon to follow.Lest I was missing their august presence.I snored a tune ...literally sang myself to sleep.

Later that morning...said Mosi smsed me to see how I was doing...I felt a twinge of annoyance.How come he gets to be outdoors...enjoying the dust-laden air, and the scorching sun ? While I'm stuck at home...wrapped in a paisley sheet? How do dogs do it? How do they manage to look so happy when their pets ( read for us ,of exalted ego..Masters ! ) come home.I bet sleeping on the couch doesn't compare to rushing headfirst down a rabbit hole?

Anyway...as I am sure everyone is relieved to know,I am back on my feet...Back to blogging..back to appearing normal...Hmm all manner of blurry eyes,croaking throat and bulbous nose forgotten! Quite a tiring day....Switching three identities in one day...at this I pause ,visions of grandiose as I imagine myself as greatest spy/secret agent ever!Anyway...fertile imagination sated for the day...I log off...Back to being Happy,in a land far far away....and for a long long time!!!