It was another Friday night.Dinner was piping hot, and issuing steam right into my peaceful face.With a lazy flick...one crazy screen replaced the other.And the master of the remote control, came to rest on a popular Indian channel.My eyes fluttered over to the TV..and "Oh! Horror!" , what must they behold, but a K-serial...shudder!!!!!
It was your run-of-the-mill scene..Over - dressed lady number one skulks in a corner,under the stairs.She regards the room with her mascara-ed eyes.Her' suited and booted' brother smiles , an almost painful grimace.Mirroring this; is his soon-to-be fiance,standing by him and matching his make-up cracking grin!You can't take your eyes off her, not because of her breath-taking beauty,but because your eyes are stuck.The shining glint of every diamond( Blood or otherwise) have shocked your eyes into staying put!Arrives Villain one...Marrying man's mother.The rest of the generous stage is shared by the girl's family.Eyes darting furtively around the hall.What are they looking for you wonder? ....Aha...this is the twist you were waiting for..The family has another little girl.Very scientifically, they explain how she is mentally challenged, and has not grown beyond the age of 10.Well...who has if they still watch this stuff? Anyway cut to scene at hand...
Girl's family is worried that the mentally 10 year old will mar the happy announcement of the engagement, and tell her to stay outside the hall.Meanwhile, the boy's rotund and 'sparkly' mom smiles,and announces to the gathering of rather bored looking folk...that her son is to be engaged to this girl( pauses for applause and demure,downward tilt of prior mentioned mascara!), and that the wedding is to be in three days! "Gasp", goes the girl's family, "We are not prepared!"."Is there a problem?",asks mommy dearest , with a fake eye-flutter, ( seriously aunty, being cutesy at your age??)...Finally a conversation ensues...and the wedding will be in three days...Shouldn't everyone concerned race home to prepare??? Anyway in the meanwhile,over-dressed to the gills,sis of groom to be laughs a menacing laugh.Muhahahaha....She slips out ,un-noticed( except by me!) and finds the 10 year old.She convinces her that the group inside is waiting with bated breath for her arrival.Convinced,said ten year old races in,arms flailing and all...pushes over the waiter,breaks all the China ( more even than China ever had!) and sets fire to Mommy's pallu.Oh horror! Hmph...now the wedding is being called off....
Sound like utter nonsense? I thought about it...in fact..how supremely intelligent..how wonderfully subtle..if only this was a scene from a Spy thriller...
Girl under the stairs is part of Revenge camp.She has been skulking around setting bugs in the room.She checks in with her boss,"This is too-much-kohl,area bugged.Subjects are on stage,Over"Suit clad guy is on her team, he is a pawn in the mission, only he doesn't know it!..Demure damsel on his arm ,is here representing the arms dealing camp! Mommy is on damsel's team!..In the audience is the arms dealer they are courting.She announces in code..we need the weapons in three days!..Damsel looks down, and flutters eyelids once..her code, we will go upto one Million!..Meanwhile the others on the stage, are from a competitive weapon camp.We can't be ready that soon..maybe in a few more days...preparations and all that!!!.Ahem...Meanwhile evil, too-much-kohl decides to sniff out the area for the Look-out.The little girl , although acting mentally ten, keeps a keen eye out for danger.She is wired , and each seemingly silly song ,conveys a world of meaning."The deal is being worked out!I think they are agreeing to one Million...three days..!"With a delicate maneuver , too-much-kohl pushes a gun into Lookout's back and marches in.Smart little girl, in desperate attempt to save her mission,runs amok,pushes the team's contact,breaks the bug-laden china, and sends up alarm smoke-signals to Mommy.Danger noted,she in turn,abruptly calls off deal,warning the arms camps that a spy is in their midst!
And even the make-up serves a devious purpose...not a soul knows how the people look beneath it.Plastic surgery on the sets!
See there....wasn't that just griping.So the next time you pooh-pooh a K serial, think again...such clever deception,such trickery.....Surely the stuff that inspires Scorcese !!!
Maybe the author of the Phiri Deception has a K-serial to thank too??
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